TRANSition Diaries: Musings of a Trans Man

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Here you will find a variety of insights from my experience of going through gender transition. I began my gender transition, from female to male, at the age of 37. I spent the first half of my life plagued with mental health issues that I couldn’t explain or overcome. I turned to alcohol and drugs, in a misguided attempt to deal with my inner pain. In receiving help for my addiction issues, I came to realize that the pain I was experiencing was gender dysphoria. Although I had been assigned female at birth, I realized I was, in fact, a man. I knew, that to find peace inside myself, I needed to go through gender transition.

Coming out as transgender and going through the process of social and medical transition, took me on an incredible personal adventure. As the hormones and surgery brought my appearance in line with my male gender, I began to al last recognize myself. I began to get to know the man I am and to make sense of my past. As my transition progressed, I found so much joy in discovering myself, my identity and my body. Knowing who I was for the first time, also allowed me to discover who I was attracted to, and after years of confusion around sex and sexuality, I discovered that I am also a gay man.  Healing from years of pain awoke in me a huge passion for life and for cherishing every moment. For the first time, being alive feels like a gift rather than a curse

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